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Hell is Walmart…Part II
Posted in: Insanity at its Best, Life in the Fast Lane, Ninja Squirrels and Other Oddities by Spider on November 02, 2008
Ok, so this morning I made my usual weekend trip to Wally World. It’s not too bad early on a Sunday morning. Now bear in mind, today is Nov. 2, just a day after Halloween…I enter the store to find all the Halloween spangle gone, replaced by Christmas trees and the like…but the most offensive of this was the music…Christmas music. Now correct me if I’m wrong but I can remember a day when the holiday tunes didn’t start until after Thanksgiving…it’s freakin’ Halloween. Is this like a black hole that’s just going to continue to expand until we hear and see this crap all year long? Dear God!
Now don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays just as much as the next guy who hates human interaction and thinks everyone is an idiot. It just seems that this time of year brings out the real morons. The holiday season is supposed to be a time of good cheer, giving and kindness (or so I am told)…but to me it only brings the assholes in people out. And when you combine the elements of morons/assholes, Walmart, Christmas music, and me all in the same place, at the same time…remember when Peter went nuclear on Heroes…yea…something like that…
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tsk, tsk Scrooge. When I was a little kid Christmas meant one thing, that I’d be getting lots of gifts that day. I learned a whole lot different when my mother sat me down and taught me to spell Christmas this way:
C is for the Christ child, who would eat a Snickers.
H is for Hard up, as we try to pay the holiday credit card bills
R is for Retards who cut you off, yes I say retards. Get over it.
I is for Idiots. Just because.
S is for Sloshed, as in your drunk realitives.
T is for Turkey. Eat it. It’s good and good for you, says Ice Advice.
M is for Money, hopefully I’ll get lots of it.
A is for A-Hole, because it’s fun to say. Go ahead say it “A-Hole”.
S is for Stupid as in this post.
Comment by Supe — November 3, 2008 @ 3:50 pm